On the net again and the literal translation of "net" into Portuguese is "rede" and rede in Portuguese can both mean "the net" and a Hammock!!! So, when in Brazil, "na rede" can both mean that you are belly up looking at the sky suspended from the ground or curved on top of your laptop surfing the Internet. In my case, right now, both things could apply. I am in the net, lying in a rede...
What I hate about blogs or any other printed idea/thought is that, if you are a living creature, and not a stone, chances are the thoughts you have just written, sooner or later, will morph into something else and not rarely morph into the extreme opposite of what you have just described. Stay, stay, stay was my "yesterday epiphany" and later on, reading my own posting I felt like running away from all this self proclaimed truths... I received an email from a dear loving friend of mine and she is soooo wonderful. She said: Yes, I want to stay... stay with myself! It is true, so true because staying is not about being somewhere "period"! You can be stationed somewhere and still be so unrooted, scattered around... that is the most beautiful teaching of many Hindu philosophies I have come across with... it is within! Rooted within!!! Then who cares where we are. That is the sole reason why I meditate in my life. No matter where I am, what is going on in my life at any given moment I only need to close my eyes, follow the path I have been trailing for the past 22 years to get in touch with this familiar space...
My older sister wrote down, in a very bitter sweet note, almost a good bye note, saying that she would feel sad but understands that I would not see them anymore (OK, now I am exaggerating a bit but it almost had this "vibe" of a farewell...) No, No, NO!!!! I did not mean I am never traveling again, seeing my friends, my family... it was all about being in peace with the fact that, this specific summer Holiday I was not going to Brazil cause it has been such a difficult decision to make and I remember a dear teacher I had, when I did the "Workshop for actors at the Globo network", we were studying mythology and Silvia Morgenstein taught us about this Greek Goddess (I wish I could also remember the name of this Greek goddess) that is the Goddess of the "left behind path" and that once you chose a direction you should never look back or she would curse you. The curse of the "Unchosen path"... and so many different traditions talk about this same syndrome. "Don't look back or you will turn into salt", comes from a tale in the bible. Salt, salt... tears are salty.... don't keep on looking towards the path that you left behind or you will keep on crying over it, covered in tears, salty water... oh, I wish we could just really extract all the beautiful meanings of these biblical stories that are now so covered in Dogmas, blindness and dust... if we could only "translate" all these symbols into what they meant for real we would have such a brilliant source of inspiration and teachings...
Yes, soooooo... for the summer holiday of 2009 I have decided not to go to Brasil but Brasil is part of who I am and my goal is to create a bridge between Denmark and Brasil, having friends and family coming over, working in specific projects that would make me stay in there for months and then coming back to this strange Kingdom of Denmark that I have grown accustomed with... just because as Carmen Miranda so beautifully sang: "Na hora do chamego eu digo mesmo é eu te amo e nunca I love you"!
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