Today I told one of the students at The Commedia School, about how to start something... a scene, a text, a movie: just start!
The hardest step, the one and only which hides behind all unrealized dreams as much as all greatest achievements: The First!
It is easier, and in the long run much more painful, not to take any step. It is easier to blame the conjunction of factors that conspired against the development of an idea than to confront a possible failure. Because, yes, every concrete step carries with it the possibility of a fall.
It is easier to spend a lifetime "knowing deep within" we could, than acknowledging that in fact we could not!
There is a certain joy within the pain of failing: The Joy of knowing you still have time to re-initiate, re-write, re-invent, recycle, whatever project you had that didn't work out.
It didn't "work out" because you were not good enough or because the project was not well shaped enough or or or... whatever reason behind the failure, it tells us something that is more concrete than all encouraging words we might have heard from our mothers (in case you were lucky enough to have had a mother who actually bothered trying to make you believe that YES, YOU CAN).
The failure is a reality check! There are no doubts, no margin to interpretations... Just like a joke that doesn't bring out laughter, It simply doesn't work! Or, doomsday, you didn't make it work!
Are you capable of moving on from a failure? I mean: You can spend the rest of your life expecting time to turn back and the words out of somebodies mouth change from a No to a YES... but believe me, no matter how much Hollywood tries, it won't really happen!
But, all is not lost... if you are sure "this" is what you really want, you can develop a strong sense of perseverance, knowing that, if this is important enough for you, you will keep on trying until you get it the way you want it (this option is a bit tricky though if you are not ready to access the real reasons why you failed. In not doing so you risk committing the same mistakes over and over again, going on a loop of doings that simply reinforces the mistakes you keep on committing over and over again. Ouch! This can be so painful and truly lead one towards a lifetime of bitterness and feelings of terrible unworthiness).
On the other hand, if you believe enough in your own cause and is willing to learn from your mistakes, the only way is UP! I mean, the more you go wrong on something, as long as you are willing to learn from it, the more you will learn! Simple math! And the more you learn, the better you will become and, sooner or later you will be on the top of your game.
A great friend/mentor of mine, George Furth, once told me: You've got to have talent to be talented.
This is so wise... Throughout my trajectory in life I have met such truly talented people who never really knew how to administer their talent and ended up failing along the way, most times just by committing the sin of believing that "being talented is enough".
On the other hand, I have met people who was not half as talented as some but "wanted it" so much that nothing would distract them from their goal.
Bob Fosse (interpreted by the talented Roy Scheider) , in a brilliant scene from "All that Jazz", brutally honest, says to one of his dancers: "I can't turn you into a great dancer... but I can help you become a better dancer".
I don't know how far this above mentioned dancer went but I would like to think she reached further than others who happened to be more talented than her.
One thing though is important, at least for me: To know what success means to you. This is also a tricky point. What which one of us needs to conquer, overcome, transform, in order to feel successful, is as personal as our own DNA.
Although there are some pretty general notions of what "success" is, such as wealth acquisition, social positions, etc... to be successful is also about conquering our fears, overcoming our personal phobias and becoming "a better me".
We do see a lot of people who have reached all imaginable "successful cliché" available but still look miserable, walking around with a sour face.
To me, this is a sign they have aimed a twisted goal, one that was not the "real issue", one that won't make them feel successful, no matter how much the world around tell them they are.
While I write, I think of Jack Donaghy, the super-successful boss interpreted by Alec Baldwin in the FUNNY series 30 ROCK, created by the super-talented Tina Fey. There is one scene, where he brings a college student to visit a professor and, at the end of their visit, the estimated professor gives a badge to the student. It just so happens to be a badge Jack always wanted to have but never achieved and it totally throws him out of balance, making him feel unworthy and a loser (since he gave up his passion for Marine Biology studies, in order to pursue a "successful carreer" is Business Administration).
It is wonderful to achieve material success, professional recognition and acclamation. It is Priceless to achieve it as the result of your dedication to your values, dreams and true calling.
Or as a Chinese proverb says:
"those who conquer their enemies are strong,
those who conquer themselves are invincible"
